If Marriage were a MovieIvan & Veronika by David
Something to share...
Hi everyone. Maya here again, this time filling in for David as he’s away on a work trip to Paris. But I believe that when you’re in the world’s capital city of romance, even work would be a blast! I’m grateful for the opportunity to share something on this blog, and while I have racked my brain all weekend trying to think of something worthy of your two minutes, the answer was actually waiting for me when I rolled over on my bed this morning and caught a glimpse of the familiar chubby face next to me; the face of my husband of nine years. When I looked at him, I knew exactly what I wanted to share with you today.
When people ask us about our dating period, there’s one story my husband always shares, one that he calls, something of my weirdness. He said, “I will never forget she told me that we need to fight at least once a month. Even if there was really nothing to fight about, she would find one and pick a fight. I have never heard of anything weirder. But the truth is, every time we’d fight, I forgot that she ever said that, because she always managed to get me all worked up.”
He may have called it weird, but I call it smart! Ha!
The way I see it, when we’re dating, everything is all hearts and roses, and the only kind of feeling we naturally want to address and express are joy, happiness, butterflies in your belly and of course, love. We don’t want to do anything with the opposites. When we’re still dating, we find it easy to yield, to compromise, to do things we don’t really want to do because “we are just so in love!” However, I believed (and I still do) that marriage won’t always be days filled with bright colored rainbows; there will be dark days that bring us down too. I wanted to see if I would be able to live with him when he’s under pressure and if he would be able to live with me even if I were annoying (because I believed that I will be, and I was right. Lucky for him, he caught a preview.)
If marriage were like a movie, then the dating period is the trailer. Why go see the movie, if you didn’t even like the trailer? And I wanted to see the whole trailer, not just the good parts. I wanted to see how he is when he’s angry and when he’s scared. I wanted to see how he is when he’s disappointed and how he was when he was sick (which until today remains the same. He still hibernates like a bear in winter for three days straight.) I also wanted to see how he was under pressure because I believe that pressure can cause people to do things out of the ordinary. I wanted to find out if I was willing to accept any of that, because I believe that people don’t change that easily. If I hated it then, I would still hate it now.
So, yeah… my husband may say that it’s a weirdness, but I still think it’s wisdom.
Before you marry someone, catch the whole preview. See what he’s like when he’s angry, when he’s sad, even when he’s sick. Find out if he’s persistent, if he’s a workaholic and if he puts his work before you. Find out if you’re able to live with it now and if you can accept him just as he is, because if you can’t, you won’t be able to later anyway, even after you’re married.
If you don’t like the trailer, it’s okay to say that you don’t want to watch the movie. But if you decide to watch it, do it because you know for sure that you’ll like it.
I wish you a beautiful Monday and an even more beautiful week.
All my love,